Lobe this, I will definitely reply to you properly. Life keeps hitting me with too much at once but I'm interested in this. Thank you for mentioning me, it means alot. This subject is far more complex for alot of us than we want it to be but we want out of that feeling. Thank you Maia, put so well as always. Speak soon xxxxx
Totally understood, and no worries! And of course I mentioned you, you’ve had such clear and insightful points on this topic. I’m really sorry life is HAPPENING, I totally understand that, take all the time you need
Wow! I loved reading your thoughts on this complex, difficult subject. US culture has sm baggage and trauma surrounding the ideal image of the archetypal woman; it’s hard to navigate the volatile, harsh, at times dangerous terrain of female beauty. I noticed a comment here about how they didn’t like seeing someone hating on a writer for her appearance; unfortunately I have seen this phenomenon as well. Somehow there’s a lot of cruelty and vile directed towards pretty girls. In the words of The Smiths “pretty girls make graves” (my friend Hannah tattooed that phrase on her arm.) I feel like just as we aren’t meant to judge women for their body sizes or shapes; likewise that principle applies to pretty women. I’m sorry to hear that you endured the pain of trauma and abuse. There’s a lot of us who have gone through hell and back again (I survived something real bad last December. I try not to talk about it, bc it still hurts.) it’s funny to me that even tho I modeled, when I look in the mirror it’s hard for me to see that model image of myself (kinda like how our voice sounds different when we listen a voicemail.) in my mirror image, I tend sense my inner character, the complex interior existence, the past hurts that lie beneath my skin below the surface. Your honest discussion of existing as a women in this world is very moving and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing this window into your inner world.
Thank you for your response. Let me start by saying it sounds like we’ve had some similar experiences— I left out the long time I didn’t feel pretty, at all, despite despite despite, because that story has been told so many times. This is only part of my life, but it’s the part that people don’t discuss as often, and it still matters. So my point was if you ever want to talk, or listen, whichever, please let me know, because it’s far less raw for me now. Hell, I wrote my entire chapbook on the ugly parts of recovery to where you actually start to feel alive again in part just in case someone needs to read it. So as much as one can, I get what you mean. About all of it.
Pretty is pretty subjective, however: Some people resent pretty, some people resent pretty people who dress down their pretty. If you’re given a “gift” you’re expected to share it…and yet some people are bound to be jealous when you do. Same goes for talent. I saw a piece on here a few months ago where the writer stated they “immediately hated” a female author they were working with solely because she was thin and pretty. But you know what? That’s pretty petty. I’m sorry you went through an abusive relationship. No one deserves that.
It's definitely subjective, and when I use it here, I'm using the majority opinion. Honestly, I usually disagree with this. I've never understood the Ryan Gosling thing. I like people who have unique features. And yes absolutely, you're expected to share. Gifts and beauty. For whomever believes you have them.
That author is definitely fucked up. Like that's a shitty thing to perform, and I know it comes from some deep hurt at the same time.
Thanks for the stark confessions of another mind-and-body stumbling around out here. There’s benefit in your words for folks trying to see us all as we are.
Your reflection on beauty is raw and powerful. It’s refreshing to hear someone acknowledge both the privileges and the insecurities that come with being considered attractive, without false modesty or denial. You bring up deep, meaningful questions about identity and self-worth, particularly when beauty has been such a defining part of it for so long. Your honesty about the fear of losing that “boost” is something many can relate to, even if they don’t often voice it. But I love that you also see the potential freedom that could come with it—being valued for more than just appearance, and growing into a version of yourself that cares less about societal standards. Your vulnerability and self-awareness are what truly shine here. Keep writing, it’s clearly a path to some deep truths. I adore this and you so so much!
Gosh, thank you so much for your response. It's something I've really thought about, and exactly-- how will getting older and losing some of that feel? Good and bad, I'm sure, but I really can't predict how that will happen.
And thank you so much, I will absolutely keep writing, no worries!
Lobe this, I will definitely reply to you properly. Life keeps hitting me with too much at once but I'm interested in this. Thank you for mentioning me, it means alot. This subject is far more complex for alot of us than we want it to be but we want out of that feeling. Thank you Maia, put so well as always. Speak soon xxxxx
Totally understood, and no worries! And of course I mentioned you, you’ve had such clear and insightful points on this topic. I’m really sorry life is HAPPENING, I totally understand that, take all the time you need
Wow! I loved reading your thoughts on this complex, difficult subject. US culture has sm baggage and trauma surrounding the ideal image of the archetypal woman; it’s hard to navigate the volatile, harsh, at times dangerous terrain of female beauty. I noticed a comment here about how they didn’t like seeing someone hating on a writer for her appearance; unfortunately I have seen this phenomenon as well. Somehow there’s a lot of cruelty and vile directed towards pretty girls. In the words of The Smiths “pretty girls make graves” (my friend Hannah tattooed that phrase on her arm.) I feel like just as we aren’t meant to judge women for their body sizes or shapes; likewise that principle applies to pretty women. I’m sorry to hear that you endured the pain of trauma and abuse. There’s a lot of us who have gone through hell and back again (I survived something real bad last December. I try not to talk about it, bc it still hurts.) it’s funny to me that even tho I modeled, when I look in the mirror it’s hard for me to see that model image of myself (kinda like how our voice sounds different when we listen a voicemail.) in my mirror image, I tend sense my inner character, the complex interior existence, the past hurts that lie beneath my skin below the surface. Your honest discussion of existing as a women in this world is very moving and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing this window into your inner world.
Thank you for your response. Let me start by saying it sounds like we’ve had some similar experiences— I left out the long time I didn’t feel pretty, at all, despite despite despite, because that story has been told so many times. This is only part of my life, but it’s the part that people don’t discuss as often, and it still matters. So my point was if you ever want to talk, or listen, whichever, please let me know, because it’s far less raw for me now. Hell, I wrote my entire chapbook on the ugly parts of recovery to where you actually start to feel alive again in part just in case someone needs to read it. So as much as one can, I get what you mean. About all of it.
Pretty is pretty subjective, however: Some people resent pretty, some people resent pretty people who dress down their pretty. If you’re given a “gift” you’re expected to share it…and yet some people are bound to be jealous when you do. Same goes for talent. I saw a piece on here a few months ago where the writer stated they “immediately hated” a female author they were working with solely because she was thin and pretty. But you know what? That’s pretty petty. I’m sorry you went through an abusive relationship. No one deserves that.
It's definitely subjective, and when I use it here, I'm using the majority opinion. Honestly, I usually disagree with this. I've never understood the Ryan Gosling thing. I like people who have unique features. And yes absolutely, you're expected to share. Gifts and beauty. For whomever believes you have them.
That author is definitely fucked up. Like that's a shitty thing to perform, and I know it comes from some deep hurt at the same time.
And thank you. I'm sorry about it, too!
It’s funny you brought up Ryan Gosling, I was going to use him as an example 😂 we are the same.
Someone else who feels this way! I’ve never met another!
Thanks for the stark confessions of another mind-and-body stumbling around out here. There’s benefit in your words for folks trying to see us all as we are.
That was the intention! We’ve gotta be honest if we want this bullshit to change!! Thank you!
🙏🌈🙏
Your reflection on beauty is raw and powerful. It’s refreshing to hear someone acknowledge both the privileges and the insecurities that come with being considered attractive, without false modesty or denial. You bring up deep, meaningful questions about identity and self-worth, particularly when beauty has been such a defining part of it for so long. Your honesty about the fear of losing that “boost” is something many can relate to, even if they don’t often voice it. But I love that you also see the potential freedom that could come with it—being valued for more than just appearance, and growing into a version of yourself that cares less about societal standards. Your vulnerability and self-awareness are what truly shine here. Keep writing, it’s clearly a path to some deep truths. I adore this and you so so much!
Gosh, thank you so much for your response. It's something I've really thought about, and exactly-- how will getting older and losing some of that feel? Good and bad, I'm sure, but I really can't predict how that will happen.
And thank you so much, I will absolutely keep writing, no worries!
Gosh please keep on writing!!
Oh I think I’m literally incapable of stopping
So so glad to hear that!